Okay, Iet's go then.
Are you packed?
Don't forget the dog, honey.
How are you feeIing?
He's not in the car, is he?
-Why is he taIking about a dog? What dog? -We had a dog in BouIder.
-What is this? -We're in the hospitaI.
You're sick, remember?
But you're gonna be just fine.
Rita, Iying to him doesn't heIp anybody but you.
Stop it.
-Nurse! -It's okay to Iet go.
I'm going to beat it.
But maybe you can't. You don't have to.
Why wouId you say that?
I don't want you to be scared.
I don't want to die.
I'm not gonna die.
That's just your body. It's not you.
That's buIIshit, EiIeen.
Excuse me.
Here you go.
We're going to increase your morphine, aII right, Mr. Piper?
Do you see?
Rita, above his head.
The Iight.
Oh, yes, he's a good boy.
Better hurry up. We've got Mrs. Piper at 8:30.
Yeah, I'II be right there.
What are you doing, Dave? DownIoading pics from mansIuts.com?
Great, Dave, thanks.
I thought we shouId have aII the information.
-I have aII the information. -I don't think you do.
If you don't get this treated...
you couId have seizures with muscuIar twitching, Ioss of verbaI skiIIs.
You couId even have some kind of hemorrhage at some point.
Or I couId be in the wrong airpIane at some point, or so couId you.
AII right? Come on.
The ParIiament. It's very eIegant.
Yes. I Iike it.
But MichaeI thinks it's tacky.
That's the CIeveIand. It's a more affordabIe choice.
But, as you can see, it's not quite as gracious.
ReaIIy? No, but it's just so seIf-effacing.
But why?
-Mrs. Piper? -I'm sorry.
Can you excuse me for a moment? I can't carry on two conversations at once.
It's exactIy Iike that horribIe IKEA couch your mother bought us.
MichaeI cIaims to Iove this one.
In my opinion, he's trying to do what he thinks his mother wants...
which is typicaI, reaIIy.
Fine, deny it. Why change now?
WouId you Iike to sit down for a minute?
I'm fine. It's just MichaeI's here.
He didn't want to deaI with this stuff when he was aIive.
You know, the funeraI.
Now he's very opinionated.
I'm a psychic, so, you know....
That must be very interesting for you.
It's just more information.
This room has a Iot of pain in it.
WeII, yes.
You have a Iot in your mind. On your mind, I mean. Don't you?
Yeah, I guess so.
Don't worry. It's okay, aII right?
It's aII gonna be okay.
Thanks.
Okay, honey, if it's what you want. It's your funeraI.
Look, she gave me her card.
''SpirituaI ConsuItation and Past Life Regression''?
For God's sake, who does this?
Who spends $100 to be toId they were once EIeanor of Aquitaine?
Or whoever, the Marquis de Sade.
So what do you think happens after we die? Heaven?
-Or HeII. -ReaIIy?
But with angeIs, deviIs, or brimstone, or whatever?
I don't know what it Iooks Iike, or who's there...
but I do beIieve there are consequences for the way we Iive our Iives.
You know, sometimes I kind of feeI Iike Dad's around.
Do you ever?
Nope.
You know we have the Independent FuneraI Directors' Iunch today, right?
Why do I have to go? That's your thing.
It's your thing, too, now. These are your coIIeagues. You need to know them.
I know who they are. I met them in Vegas. They're freaks.
-They're not freaks. -Nobody Iikes the BraziI nuts, David.
Not the IocaI guys.
I'm sure the LA morticians are a Iot more fun than those from Montana.
You're an LA mortician now, Nate. This is your community.
It's poIite for the first person downstairs to make the coffee.
Even if that person has a penis.
It's aIso poIite for the first person who uses the bathroom...
to spend Iess than 45 minutes in there. Even if that person has a vuIva.
-Oh, goodness, everyone's here. -With aII their genitaIia.
-Excuse me? -Mom, wouId you Iike some toast?
No, thanks. I have to be in the VaIIey by 10:30.
-What's in the VaIIey? -I'm going to a seminar.
-What seminar? -Something Robbie invited me to. The PIan.
Isn't that a cuIt?
No, it's one of those seIf-actuaIization things from the '70s...
where they yeII for 1 2 hours and don't Iet you go to the bathroom.
Oh, no. ReaIIy? ShouId I bring some kind of jar?
-A jar? -I suppose that's not much of a soIution.
You're on your own for dinner. I won't be back untiI after midnight.
The thought of Mom being seIf-actuaIized is kind of making me nauseous.
You sure it's not the thought of Mom pissing into a jar?
So, Tahira, why can't you forgive your father?
When I was 6...
he had a dream that I had given myself to a man...
who was not the husband I had been promised to.
For that, he set me on fire.
I was able to save myself.
But I had to leave the country so he would not kill me.
And always...
I will have the scars from this.
That's horrible. Truly horrible.
How could he do this to me?
But as long as you hold on to that anger toward your father...
you will be on fire.
You may have left the country, but you are still living in the same house.
And in that house, there is a room that is still burning.
Who lives in this room?
-I do? -Your father is still living in this room.
So you never invite anyone in, and you go through life alone.
You must open that door. Put out the flames.
You must invite your father to come visit you.
-But he won't even speak to me. -That is your old blueprint.
That is what you want to believe...
because you are too afraid to tear down the walls and rebuild.
Come on.
Stop bIaming the victim.
All right, who here thinks I'm being unfair?
Be honest.
Ruth, do you agree? Until Tahira forgives her father...
she will never feel safe in her home.
-WeII, maybe, but-- -Speak up.
We all paid to hear you.
Why don't you stand?
Her father did such a terribIe thing.
I don't see why she has to have him as a houseguest.
If you don't agree with me, why didn't you raise your hand?
I was just trying to understand your point.
Or do you think that your opinion doesn't matter?
That perhaps you are just a guest here?
Are you a guest in your own house, Ruth?
I don't think so.
Yes, she tiptoes around herseIf Iike she's afraid of waking someone up.
The only person sleeping in your house is you.
-I do have three chiIdren. -See? She's not even Iistening.
Ruth, you have to get out of bed...
open the windows, and let some light into your house...
so that you can see the way things are.
Then, and only then...
can you begin renovating your life.
So, Tahira, are you ready to renovate?
Yes, I think so.
So, when you call your father, what will you say first?
Hello?
Sorry, my beaker expIoded.
That's okay. Catch your breath.
How's it going?
I have hydrochIoric acid in my hair, but other than that, I'm fine.
ReaIIy?
No, but I'm incredibIy bored with myseIf right now.
Let's taIk about you. How's your girIfriend? What's her name?
Jenny. Fine, thanks.
How's it going with GabrieI?
I have no idea. I haven't even taIked to him in two weeks.
Is that her?
-What does she do? -She's a jeweIry designer.
ReaIIy? Does she have a store?
No, she has cIients and she caters.
But we're not here to taIk about Jenny.
It might heIp to teII me what you're going through right now.
It's no big fucking mystery. I mean, it sucks.
It sucks to be pretty much in Iove with a guy who's too fucked-up for Iife.
-What happened? -Nothing reaIIy. Just....
Whatever.
It's not even his fauIt.
And it fucking pisses me off. His whoIe famiIy thing is so fucking unfair.
And I reaIIy just thought he needed.... I don't know.
-You? -No.
But someone, maybe.
Some person on the pIanet who gives a fuck about him, for once in his Iife.
Yeah, I did think that wouId matter.
It does matter. No one can ever soIve someone eIse's Iife.
So, basicaIIy, your job is totaIIy pointIess?
No one but a guidance counseIor, I mean.
There they are.
That's the community? I thought this was an event.
It's an event.
-Didn't I meet one of those guys in Vegas? -Bobo from PeacefuI Haven.
-Right. He spits. -Yes, he does.
Stan, Jack, Bobo. This is my brother, Nate.
-Nice to see you, Nate. -Nice to meet you, Jack.
Good seeing you, Bobo.
CongratuIations.
We heard you just got your Iicense to operate a moving funeraI.
Yep, finaIIy went pro.
-WeII, sit. -No, go ahead.
-No, after you. Age before beauty. -Right.
David teIIs us that you are very gifted.
He does?
We were just giving Stan grief...
for poaching our customers with faIse advertising.
That sounds Iike something Kroehner wouId do.
Fucking Kroehner. Those cocksuckers.
Sorry. Those cunts.
So this famiIy goes off the 405. We get five bodies, right?
In truth, my waIk-in onIy hoIds three.
So my guy is working overtime to get everyone juiced.
But sometimes you have to Ieave them out for an hour or two beyond reguIation.
It happens, right? But those Kroehner fucks...
are just waiting for a chance to send in their fIacky at the DCA, and boom!
I get hit with a giant fine and a Iawsuit.
I wiII ram a pIastic screw up my anus...
before I give in to those fucks. No offense.
-Do we have a waitress? -Yeah, she'II be back with the fries.
Those fucks.
They are fucks. They're fucking eviI fucks.
They're sucking up aII the mom-and-pops.
Businesses that peopIe spent their Iives buiIding up--
They don't care about peopIe and Iives.
AII right, we appreciate your passion, but--
No, aII they care about is money. It's not just our industry. It's everywhere.
When corporations try and squeeze out aII the competitors...
the further management gets from Iabor, the more aIienation in the workpIace...
-the more meaningIess aII our Iives become. -Fuck, yeah!
-It's hopeIess, isn't it? -No, I don't think it is.
We have to stick together and save our energy to fight Kroehner.
-You know, Stan? -Yes. I Iove this guy. Terrific!
I don't know, Gary. Twice in one day?
CIaire, this is Detective Reese.
Why don't you sit down, CIaire?
Any idea where GabrieI Dimas is?
-Why wouId I? -He's a friend of yours, isn't he?
Yeah, so I know where he is every second of the day?
You have noticed that he hasn't been in schooI for the Iast two weeks?
Yeah, but I don't know where he is.
I don't.
Did you know that he heId up a convenience store with a gun?
-No. -Did you give or seII him embaIming fIuid?
No. My God.
-So how do you think he got it? -I don't know. The Internet?
-Don't they have cataIogs for that stuff? -Maybe.
Be a Iot easier to get it from you, don't you think?
No, because I wouId never do anything Iike that.
I don't even know where they keep that stuff.
So it's between Ethics of EvoIution and Biogenetics, I think.
-Biogenetics? ReaIIy? -What?
Yawn, kind of, right?
Biogenetics might sound duII to you, but it's actuaIIy very smutty.
It's aII about sperm competition and cryptic ovuIation.
Oh, yeah? What eIse you taking?
-I'm onIy doing one cIass. -I thought you were going back to schooI.
I said I was gonna take a cIass. I stiII have to work, you know.
Fuck, if it's onIy one cIass, why not pick something interesting?
How about this reIigious studies cIass?
''Cross-CuIturaI Perspectives on the AfterIife.''
Yawn.
-It's not boring. It's spirituaI. -DoubIe yawn.
Why don't you sign up for that and we can meet in the quad for Iunch?
That wouId be so fun.
We couId make out in the stacks...
sneak into the pooI at night and go skinny-dipping on acid.
Sounds Iike you did a Iot of work at coIIege.
I was onIy in schooI for two years, but I Iearned a few things.
About breaking into schooI property whiIe tripping?
That'II heIp you in Iife.
What?
Come on, Bren.
-I was just in the middIe of something. -Look, it's been a whiIe.
It's not that Iong.
It's been three-and-a-haIf weeks, and on Tuesday it'II be four weeks.
Not that you're counting.
Yeah, I'm counting. I mean, have you not even noticed?
It's normaI, after a certain point, for sex to sIow down.
Yeah, sIow down, okay. But stop?
PeopIe can go months after a certain point.
After a certain point, okay. Like, six years, maybe. But six months?
-Seven. -Not that you're counting.
You've never been with anybody Iong enough to know this...
but there is a certain ebb and fIow that happens.
-Not for everybody. -It does.
There wiII be times when you are not attracted to me at aII.
It's just a normaI ebb.
How Iong does a normaI ebb Iast?
I don't know, but that's the kind of question that proIongs the standard ebb.
Did you hear about the guy at the nuthouse that walked around naked...
except for a hat and gloves?
And this nurse came up to him and said.:
''What do you want? You can't walk around.... ''
Mom?
And the guy says, ''It's okay. Nobody comes around here, anyway. ''
And the nurse says, ''Well, what do you have on the hat and gloves for?''
-It's so Iate. I was kind of worried. -It goes untiI midnight.
Was it fun?
It was horribIe.
-So you're not going back? -No, I'm going back.
-Why? -I don't know. I don't want to be rude.
They don't care about that. They aIready got your money.
WeII, there's that, too.
-Don't you get bored around here? -Well, sometimes.
Do you want some tea or something?
AII right, what did you break?
Nothing. I was just being nice. God!
I'm sorry.
I was imposing my oId bIueprint on you.
Excuse me?
In the oId bIueprint of my oId house...
you're onIy nice to me when you've done something bad...
or when you want something.
-That makes me feeI Iike shit. -I'm sorry.
But it reaIIy does seem that way to me.
I shouId go do my homework.
They give you homework?
I have to write a Ietter to my dead mother...
and forgive her for aII the terribIe things she did to me.
That sounds fun.
And then I have to write a private Ietter to myseIf...
outIining how I want to renovate my Iife.
Good night, dear.
Good night.
The shovel's in the truck!
-That's good. -Rico, you forget something there?
Shit.
Sorry, man. I got about two hours of sIeep Iast night.
-Augusto? -No, Angie, Vanessa's sister.
She waIks out on her boyfriend...
and comes over to waiI in our Iiving room aII night Iong.
-Women. -Yeah, I'm teIIing you, man.
And she shows up with this suitcase, Iike she's got some right now that....
She has fancy HoIIywood friends who fIash their money around aII the time.
I'm Iike, ''What, you can't go somewhere there's a guest room?''
Rico, I'm reaIIy sorry about that Ioan.
It's just a reaIIy tight budget.
That's okay. We got the house. Something eIse came through.
-That's great. -Yep, the escrow cIoses next month.
That is super, man.
You and Vanessa have been together, what...
five years now?
Married five, together eight. Man, can you beIieve that shit?
Okay, so this is sort of a personaI question. You don't have to answer...
but do you guys stiII, you know...
pretty much have sex?
We've got two kids now, so it sIows down a bit.
Right.
How sIow?
Right after the baby, Vanessa's got aII the wrong hormones and stuff.
So now, maybe three or four times a week.
-That's too bad, man. -Yeah, that sucks.
It's not Iike the first two years.
-Yeah, you better enjoy it whiIe you got it. -No kidding, right?
This moron aIways goes over.
I shouId go in and correct his seIfish ass.
Let them finish their game. We go over sometimes.
-So how's Eddie? -He's good. Things are good, I guess.
Keith, what's going on?
I think my sister's fucking using that shit again.
My mom's come up from San Diego to watch over her, Iike that's gonna fix anything.
According to her, everything is just fine now.
I'm the one that's overreacting.
I don't think you're overreacting.
Thanks.
-Eddie hates racquetbaII. -ReaIIy? Why?
Poor depth perception.
Can't pIay pooI, either.
That's too bad.
Let's not beat around the bush, shaII we?
BioIogy has a Iong history of being abused as an ideoIogicaI instrument...
to justify sociaI inequities and amoraI behavior.
For those of you who have not yet read my book...
the centraI argument I posit...
in Genes Out of the Bottle.: Evolution in Biotechnology...
is that genetic engineering is, in and of itseIf...
the most effective argument against bioIogicaI determinism. Why?
The thesis that you present so briIIiantIy...
is that though bioIogy manifests in behavior...
as we can see in the instinct of human maIes to seek a variety of sexuaI partners...
the fact that we have the technoIogy to modify genetics...
confirms the supremacy of cuIture over bioIogy.
ExceIIent. Other thoughts?
I have a question.
Isn't naturaI seIection stiII operating though, since members of the species...
who have access to genetic technoIogies are more IikeIy to survive and procreate?
That kind of reasoning Ieads us into a very questionabIe ethicaI terrain.
-Other comments? -What kind of reasoning? Scientific?
You can caII it scientific, but as I discussed at great Iength in Chapter 2...
your argument is a poIiticaI assertion that priviIege is bioIogicaIIy determined.
I haven't actuaIIy read your book...
but you can't teII me that survivaI isn't easier for peopIe...
who are born with a private chef and heaIth insurance.
Maybe you shouId read the book before commenting on its thesis.
Other comments?
-Yes? -Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Are we not aIIowed to disagree with you? I'm just asking because I'm new in the cIass.
We certainIy don't interrupt our cIassmates. Go ahead.
In your discussion of bisexuaI genitaI rubbing among pygmy chimps...
you note the exchange of sex for meat.
I was wondering how this might pertain to contemporary human behavior.
Any theories?
So, where do you think he is now?
According to his wife, he's stiII here.
There's a big chunk of dead meat in a cheapo box that's stiII here.
But do you reaIIy beIieve that's him? The essence of who he was?
The part of him that hoped and dreamed, and aII that other crap?
You teII me. You're the one who has aII the answers now.
I never said that.
You'd think getting hammered by a bus wouId make you a IittIe Iess of a dick.
Sure, it's possibIe that we go on after we die.
It's aIso possibIe that, once the Iight goes out, it stays out.
You'II never know, buddy boy, tiII it's your turn.
See, that's what you were hanging onto.
Excuse me?
-MichaeI. -Is he here?
He's been with me the whoIe time.
-You think he'II stay with you? -Not Iike this.
He's just heIping me get used to it.
I hope you don't mind, but do you get a sense of my father at aII around here?
No. I'm sorry.
That doesn't mean he's not here. This room is packed.
I can't get to everyone.
I think everything is ready.
-I do see a chiId coming into your Iife. -No.
-WeII, it might be you. -I seriousIy doubt that.
I'm not sure which one of you I'm reading...
but I'm quite sure there's gonna be a chiId here very soon.
I'm heading out now, okay?
This is Federico Diaz, our embaImer, and his baby, Augusto.
This is Mrs. Piper.
-I'm sorry for your Ioss. -Thank you.
-You made his body Iook very nice. -Thank you.
ActuaIIy, his body gave me a Iot to work with.
HardIy any decay for a cancer death--
-Okay, Rico, see you tomorrow. -Okay. Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Here we go.
EiIeen asked that I cIose with a reading from MichaeI's favorite poet, WaIt Whitman.
''What do you think has become of the young and oId men?
''And what do you think has become of the women and chiIdren?
''They are aIive and weII somewhere
''The smaIIest sprout shows there is reaIIy no death
''And if ever there was, it Ied forward Iife
''and does not wait at the end to arrest it
''And ceas'd the moment Iife appear'd
''AII goes onward and outward nothing coIIapses
''And to die is different from what any one supposed
''and Iuckier''
Let us pray.
O Lord, bIess the departed souI of our brother, friend, and son, MichaeI....
I'm just hanging around to heIp you get used to it.
I am used to it, Dad. It's been six months.
Seven. Not that you're counting.
God is strength. In him, I wiII trust.
Amen.
-Are you done? -Pretty much. What's up?
-I wanted to ask you something. -Okay.
Get this. Bobo soId to Kroehner.
-Bobo soId? My Bobo? -Your Bobo.
I can't beIieve this. He was so committed.
Think he's got a pIastic screw in his anus about now?
-I hope so. -That oId son of a bitch. I'm gonna caII him.
-What's the matter with you? -Nothing.
-Where's KarIa? -She's just working Iate.
-Why are you fronting? -Go to your room now, TayIor.
Mama hasn't been home since Tuesday.
-What? -Now.
-But my stomach hurts. -I'II get you some Pepto-BismoI.
-I don't want none of that nasty shit. -Then go on.
Shit, bitch, I gotta get my goods.
Don't taIk to your grandmother Iike that.
Is she sick?
She says that every night. She just wants the attention.
Can you bIame her? Her mother's off, doing God knows whatever.
KarIa's fine. She just had to go out of town.
-You taIked to her? -I wasn't in when she caIIed.
But she Ieft severaI messages. Besides, I'm here with TayIor.
Don't bIow this out of proportion Iike you aIways do.
Hey, Mama, I'm not coming home tonight.
Derek needs some papers, and I gotta go....
-Can't she send him his papers? -You remember how Derek was.
AIways getting her to do this and that for him.
Yeah, Iike raise his kid without a dime from him.
Sorry, I dropped the phone. Shut up!
Anyway, I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?
Give Taylor kisses for me.
To get the phone company records, we'II have to fiIe a missing persons report.
Keith, why must you aIways think the worst of her?
Let's just wait tiII she gets home.
-We don't even know-- -What are you gonna do?
Move up here and take care of her aII your Iife?
She has a chiId! Jesus, she needs heIp.
-You covering up for her is not what I mean. -Who do you think you're taIking to?
I am your mother...
and you wiII respect that or I wiII smack the bIack right off of you.
Hi, there.
Hi.
Hard day?
How can you teII?
I'm good at peopIe.
-Are you? -Gotta be. Tax Iaw.
I'm Scott. Scott AxeIrod.
Candace Bouvard.
Nice to meet you, Candace. Are you an actress?
No.
-I teach sign Ianguage to the newIy deaf. -ReaIIy?
-How nobIe. -No, it's very Iucrative.
And I reaIIy enjoy communicating with my body.
I get that.
You know what? My friend is here, but it's been great getting to know you.
I wouId Iove to take you to dinner sometime. Can I give you my card?
You sure can.
How was schooI?
All right, you have 20 minutes to do what's most important in your life now.
What did you write to yourself in your private letter?
Where are you locked out of your own life?
If you learn today that your relationship with your mother...
has been blocking the door to your happiness, then make that repair.
Right now. Waiting only gives you more chances to make excuses.
There are phones in the hall. See you in 9 minutes.
Where can I find a Snickers bar?
Can't you think of more productive ways to use this time?
Like what? Taking up smoking?
Why not try rebuiIding with someone right now?
I read your private Ietter to yourseIf. If you reaIIy want cIoseness in your Iife...
you're gonna have to start major renovations.
-In fact, I wouId gut. -You read my private Ietter?
-Why don't you try caIIing your kids? -I don't even know where my kids are.
The Iast thing they want is for me to caII on a Friday night...
so I can put in new fIooring.
I've wanted to hear that my whoIe Iife, Dad. Oh, fuck!
I Iove you, too, you sadistic oId fuck.
Start with CIaire.
OnIy you can be the architect of your Iife.
I was 1 2 years oId.
This is your mother.
Yes, weII, I just wanted to teII you that...
I feeI Iike even though I've been trying to be cIoser to you...
it hasn't reaIIy been working.
I wish you feIt you couId confide in me...
and maybe you don't because you feeI my opinion is worthIess.
Because I don't reaIIy Iive in my house...
and so I suppose that's the infrastructure I buiIt.
And so I'm sorry.
-And? -And I Iove you.
That's so good. I gotta pee Iike a racehorse.
You have exceeded the time limit.
If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press now.
HeIIo?
-Claire? -Where the fuck have you been?
-I'm fucked up. -Gabe, what is going on?
Everything is all fucked up, Claire!
Look, it's gonna be okay. You just have to caIm down right now.
Look, I need you to come and get me.
Please.
You know the cops are seriousIy Iooking for you?
I know that, okay? Why do you think I need you to come out here and get me?
Where are you?
I'm up past Woodland Hills.
Academia is one huge circIe jerk.
AII the sequestered peopIe desperateIy defending...
the one good idea they have ever had in their Iives.
So, what, that's it for going back to schooI?
Yep. Next?
-How was your day? -It was weird.
Buried that psychic woman's husband, and she was stiII taIking to the guy.
-That's sad. -Not for her.
I mean, she reaIIy beIieved he was there, you know?
WeII, she has to say that, right? If she cIaims she's a psychic.
You don't think that that's possibIe?
What about you saying that things happen that Ieave marks...
-in peopIe, in pIaces, in time? -That's physics.
Energy affecting matter.
TaIking to dead peopIe is deIusionaI.
So you definiteIy don't beIieve in any kind of a Iife after death?
I think peopIe Iive on through the peopIe they Iove...
and the things they do with their Iives.
If they manage to do things with their Iives.
But that's it? That's aII there is?
There's nothing more? There's nothing bigger?
Just energy.
-But there's no pIan? -No, there's definiteIy no pIan.
Just survivaI.
-ShouId I have ordered the saImon? -I don't know.
How can you Iive Iike that? What if you found out you were gonna die tomorrow?
I've been prepared to die tomorrow since I was 6 years oId.
ReaIIy?
-Pretty much. We never got butter. -Why since you were six?
Because I read a report on the effect nucIear war wouId have on the worId...
and it was pretty cIear to me at that point that this was definiteIy gonna happen.
When you were six?
And I wake up every day pretty much surprised...
that everything is stiII here.
I don't understand how you can Iive Iike that.
WeII, I thought we aII did.
-Who was that? -I went to high schooI with him.
He's cIearIy had a nose job.
Close your eyes.
Go on.
And imagine that everyone in this room thinks you're an idiot.
Total fool. Complete moron. Absolute ass.
Feel familiar?
It's how you feel in the world, isn't it?
I want you to feel it deeply now.
Really feel that everyone in this room thinks you're an idiot.
Close your eyes, Ruth. Feel you're an idiot.
Now tell me when you get the joke.
-Do you get the joke, Ruth? -No. I'm an idiot.
Who wants to explain the joke to Ruth?
So we all feel the same way, right?
So who's really the asshole?
-We aII are? -Ruth, stand up.
Tell me what you wrote in your private letter to yourself.
It was a private Ietter. To myseIf.
Tell me where your house needs repairs.
Yeah, and don't buIIshit the Iady, cupcake.
I have a very nice house.
I have nice chiIdren, and a nice job, and a nice gentIeman friend.
Can't anyone just be happy? I'm happy.
Who's buying Ruth's house?
We don't believe your house is structurally sound, Ruth.
Who knows better: me or a room fuII of compIainers?
What do you really want to complain about, really?
The fact that the bIood stopped circuIating to my rear end four hours ago.
Okay, what else?
You want me to compIain?
AII right, then. Fuck this.
Fuck you. Fuck aII of you, with your sniveIing seIf-pity.
And fuck aII your Iousy parents.
Fuck my Iousy parents, whiIe we're at it.
Fuck my seIfish bohemian sister and her fucking bIiss.
Fuck my IegIess grandmother. Fuck my dead husband...
and my Iousy chiIdren with their nasty IittIe secrets!
And fuck you, Robbie, for dragging me to this terribIe pIace...
and not Ietting me have a Snickers bar!
I'm going to get something to eat!
Congratulations, Ruth.
You have just leveled your fleabag hovel.
Now you can buiId the house of your dreams from the ground up.
Yes! Fucking yes!
ExceIIent.
CongratuIations.
Jesus.
Okay, Iet's hop.
-Hi? -We shouId just get going.
Okay.
But you couId teII me where the fuck you've been--
Yeah, Iike you care.
What?
Why did I just drive my ass way the fuck out to nowhere?
Can we just taIk about this whiIe we're driving, okay?
Jesus, it's hot as heII in this car.
Can you teII me where we're going?
Let's just head out to AngeIa's Crest or something.
AngeIa's Crest? That's where seriaI kiIIers go to dump bodies.
You think you can think up somepIace a IittIe creepier?
I don't care where we go.
I just want to go somewhere where we can be aIone for a minute...
and we can just taIk, you know? Whatever.
-Are you fucked-up right now? -What the fuck do you expect, CIaire?
I'm freaked out. Everything's reaIIy fucked-up for me right now.
-So what are you gonna do? -I don't know.
-I'm trying to it figure out. -What's to figure out?
CIaire, just chiII out, okay? Jesus.
Look, they know you gave Andy the fry, or whatever the fuck it's caIIed.
They know you robbed that store, Gabe.
You have to turn yourseIf in.
That is a genius fucking pIan.
Hey, baby, you Iike to drink bIood?
-That's incredibIy originaI. -Shut the fuck up, scumbag!
Look, you got a corpse in the front seat.
-I said, shut the fuck up! -Oh, God!
Go.
Is he aII right?
It's okay.
Just keep driving.
What are you doing?
-We have to go back. -Are you insane?
We have to go back and make sure that guy is okay.
-I didn't hit him, aII right? -How do you know? Are you sure?
I saw. He's fine, aII right?
Then Iet's just go back and make sure that he is aII right.
I cannot go back there!
-God, I am fucked! -You know this is just making it worse.
Listen to me. I need you to just heIp me right now, okay? PIease.
I can't heIp you!
I can't heIp you anymore! I can't.
Let's just keep going, okay?
Let's just keep going, I'II figure out what to do.
I wiII figure it out.
Come on, pIease.
I'm going back.
-CIaire, don't do that. -Get off me.
CIaire, give me that.
Okay, you have to get out now.
-Don't do this to me. -Get out!
-Get out. -Okay.
I'm just gonna get my bag, aII right?
Thanks.
Oh, my God.
So, where do you think I am?
Heaven or HeII?
ApparentIy, you're here at the moment.
You think I'm in HeII.
Yeah, sure, I went to church. That was just for business.
I didn't reaIIy beIieve in God.
I mean, not as anyone who you had to pIease or impress to get promoted.
The onIy God I know is a mean-spirited comedian in ugIy pants...
whose every joke has the same damn punch Iine.
And I'm thinking, that kind of attitude Iands me straight in HeII.
On the bright side, that means...
you'II have a famiIiar face waiting for you.
Look it up.
Leviticus 20:13.
I don't beIieve that anymore.
And I don't think you're in HeII.
But you can't quite see me hanging around with Gandhi and Mother Teresa up there.
I miss you, Dad.
I thought you were at Brenda's.
She had a Iate cIient, so I thought I'd, you know...
-heIp cIean up. -Thanks.
At this hour? That is a Iate cIient.
Some of them Iike her to put them to bed, you know?
That's very sad.
-How Iong did you go out with that cop? -About six months.
-Sex ever sIow down? -I was hoping you weren't gonna go there.
I'm sorry. Forget it.
-David, I need some heIp. -What happened?
''Fuck my IegIess grandmother.
''And fuck you, Robbie, for not Ietting me have the Snickers bar.''
Oh, my goodness, the Ianguage.
I was so rude.
It was fantastic. Quel breakthrough.
Robbie, I don't even know how to thank you.
Don't thank me.
Just change.
So, what are you gonna do tomorrow to start the renovations?
That's none of your fucking business.
Any idea where he'd go?
What was he wearing?
You know, it's gonna be much easier on him...
if we can bring him in before something eIse happens.
-But he doesn't even have the gun. -You think he can't get another gun?
He was wearing jeans and a green T-shirt, I think.
You're doing the right thing. You know that, right?
-I feeI Iike shit. -You'II feeI worse if someone eIse gets hurt.
Oh, my God.
When that cop asked me if I knew about the 7-EIeven thing, I said I didn't. But I did.
-Is that reaIIy bad? -It's not great.
But you're teIIing the truth now, right? So don't worry about that.
They wouIdn't make me testify against him or something, right?
That's not up to me. But, anyway, that's a Iong ways off.
Okay, 'cause I don't wanna do anything Iike that.
-Why are you stiII protecting this Ioser? -Because she Ioves him.
And we understand that, CIaire.
I reaIIy wish you'd toId us about this sooner.
How Iong did you know about the embaIming fIuid?
Not that Iong. And I tried to teII Nate.
When the fuck did you try and teII me about this?
She's teIIing you now, aII right?
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
When you're ready, we're gonna get in the car and drive down to the station.
A coupIe of detectives there are gonna ask you pretty much the same questions.
-WiII you be there? -Yes, I'II be there.